When Humility Holds You Back: The Leadership Lesson of John Stockton

There’s no question that ego can be one of the most corrosive forces in any organization. I’ve written before about the four ego monsters—those behaviors that show up when pride, insecurity, or self-importance control our actions. They can devour trust, teamwork, and objectivity faster than just about anything else.

But lately, I’ve been thinking about the other side of the coin. While ego can destroy a team, excessive humility can quietly limit it.

The Player Who Could Shoot but Didn’t Always

Growing up in Utah, I watched John Stockton—a Hall of Fame point guard whose game was built on unselfishness. He was one of the greatest distributors in basketball history, leading the league in assists year after year. But what often went underappreciated was how good of a shooter he was. Stockton could score, and when the moment demanded it, he did. Yet his instinct was always to set up his teammates first.

As a kid, I sometimes wished he’d take over more often. But as I got older, I realized Stockton’s greatness came from balance. He understood when to pass and when to shoot. When the team needed someone to create, he delivered; when they needed space, he stepped back.

That is mature humility.

The Humility Paradox

In leadership, humility is often celebrated—and rightly so. Humble leaders listen, include, and serve others. But when humility becomes self-suppression, it stops being a virtue and starts being a liability.

Some leaders hesitate to speak up, share their ideas, or take the reins because they don’t want to appear arrogant. Others avoid praise or recognition so much that their confidence fades, and their teams struggle without direction. That’s the humility paradox: when trying to stay small, you inadvertently lower the ceiling for everyone else.

Ego, In Reverse

This is where the connection to the four ego monsters comes back around. Ego, at its root, is a distortion of self-perception—it’s believing something about yourself that isn’t true. For the overtly prideful, that distortion inflates self-worth beyond reality. But in the same way, false humility deflates it.

Both come from the same place: self-focus. Whether you’re trying to control the spotlight or avoid it altogether, you’re still centering yourself instead of the mission.

The best leaders, like Stockton, achieve a kind of centered confidence. They don’t need to dominate or disappear—they just do what helps the team win.

Finding the Sweet Spot

Humility isn’t about stepping back all the time; it’s about knowing when to step forward. Leaders can learn to balance these instincts by asking:

·        Am I avoiding the spotlight out of service or out of fear?

·        Does my restraint serve the mission—or just my comfort?

·        What does the moment need from me right now: support or initiative?

When you find the right balance, humility doesn’t hold you back—it amplifies you. It frees you to lead boldly without needing to prove yourself, and to empower others without neglecting your own strengths.

Closing Thought

Ego tells us to take all the shots. False humility makes us pass them up. Real leadership learns the wisdom in between—knowing the moment, trusting your preparation, and doing what helps the team most.

That’s what John Stockton understood, and it’s what great leaders discover too: sometimes the most humble thing you can do is take the shot.