The Emperor Moth, The Coddling of the American Mind, and the Necessity of Struggle

The story of the Emperor moth’s emergence from its cocoon is a powerful metaphor for growth, resilience, and the dangers of overprotection. This lesson is echoed in contemporary discussions about parenting, education, and the workplace, notably in the influential book The Coddling of the American Mind by Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt. Both the moth’s struggle and the book’s critique of “safetyism” highlight a central truth: true strength and capability often develop only through adversity and challenge.

The Emperor Moth: Growth Through Struggle

When an Emperor moth is ready to emerge, it must force its body through a tiny opening in its cocoon. This struggle is not a flaw in nature’s design; it is essential. The pressure and effort required to escape the cocoon force fluid from the moth’s swollen body into its wings, allowing them to expand and strengthen for flight.

If an observer, out of kindness, cuts open the cocoon to make the process easier, the moth emerges with a bloated body and shriveled wings. Deprived of its struggle, it is never able to fly and spends its life crawling, never realizing its potential. Protecting the moth from its struggle keeps it from reaching its full potential. In life, it’s our hardships that help us learn and become stronger.

The Coddling of the American Mind: The Risks of Overprotection

One of the best books I have read in the past few years is ‘The Coddling of the American Mind’. Authors Lukianoff and Haidt argue that well-intentioned efforts to shield young people from discomfort, risk, and failure have led to a culture of “safetysim.” This mindset, prevalent in parenting and institutional practices, seeks to eliminate all potential sources of harm or distress. However, research and real-world outcomes suggest that such overprotection can stunt psychological growth, reduce resilience, and leave individuals ill-prepared for the challenges of adulthood.

The book contends that adversity, setbacks, and even failure are critical for developing the mental and emotional strength necessary to thrive. By removing obstacles and insulating children from adversity, adults may inadvertently produce fragile individuals—much like the Emperor moth deprived of its necessary struggle.

Parallels in the Workplace

The lesson extends beyond childhood and education into the workplace. Organizations that do not allow employees to take risks, try new things, or even fail, risk stifling creativity, initiative, and growth. When leaders “snip the cocoon” for their teams—by micromanaging, shielding them from consequences, or not allowing them to learn from mistakes—they prevent the development of essential skills and confidence.

Just as the Emperor moth needs the struggle to develop strong wings, employees need the opportunity to face challenges and learn from failure to become effective, innovative contributors. Overprotective environments can lead to dependency, lack of initiative, and ultimately, organizational stagnation.

Embracing Struggle for Growth

The Emperor moth’s story and the arguments presented in The Coddling of the American Mind converge on a key insight: struggle and adversity are not merely obstacles to be avoided, but essential experiences that foster growth, resilience, and capability. Whether in parenting, education, or the workplace, the impulse to protect must be balanced with the wisdom to allow for struggle. Only then can individuals—and the organizations and societies they inhabit—achieve their full potential.

Over the years, I’ve seen firsthand that organizations—and the people within them—grow stronger when they face challenges head-on. If we tried to shield ourselves or our teams from every obstacle, we’d miss out on the growth and resilience that come from overcoming adversity. In my experience building better organizations, it’s the willingness to embrace tough moments and learn from them that sets truly effective teams apart. Some of the hardest things we have been through together have helped us bond tighter.

This lesson is just as true in parenting. Just as we want our children to be safe, we also want them to develop the strength and confidence that come from navigating difficulties on their own. When we step back and allow them to face challenges—within a supportive environment—they learn valuable skills, build resilience, and gain the freedom to grow into capable, independent individuals. It can be hard to not step in and bail them out and at this moment it is worth remembering the Emperor Moth.

Every challenge, whether in the workplace or at home, is an opportunity to improve and grow. When we give ourselves, our colleagues, and our children the freedom to take risks and learn from setbacks, we create environments where everyone can reach their full potential and truly soar.