5 Things I Learned About Plugging Into Your Natural Wiring

I was never technically diagnosed with autism, ADHD, or anything else on that spectrum. But as I have grown up and learned more about it, I have started to better understand what I will call my natural wiring.

As a kid any struggles I had went unnoticed. My grades were not horrible and I did not cause distractions or misbehave in class. I had a few good close friends but I was far from a social butterfly. I could be a little socially awkward but that was often labeled as shy so there probably was not much reason for anyone to think I was struggling.

Staying focused for a long time when I was sitting in class was tough, especially in subjects I did not find interesting. I had the best intentions to pay attention. I could usually last a few minutes, especially in science or math, and then I was off into the abyss.

Ironically at the same time, I could sit and draw for hours. I could completely focus on it and completely enjoy it. Today, I often do the same thing when I paint. I can get so locked into what I am working on that if someone walks into my studio, they can scare me to death. My wife thinks it’s funny and will often say when she is getting close, “I am entering the room”.

For a long time, I thought those things meant I was not disciplined enough or not smart enough. What I have learned is that I needed systems. I needed order. I needed to better understand how I worked and build structure around it.

I still deal with many of the same things, but I have learned how to use my wiring to my advantage. Here are five things I have learned that may help someone else too regardless of their wiring.

1. Structure Reduces Stress

I have learned that order in pretty much every aspect of my life is the only way I do not get distracted by something else.

I organize my closet and drawers by colors, sizes, and categories. I keep things where they belong. It might seem like a small thing, but it makes decisions easier and takes away the stress of clutter. I do not have to spend energy looking for things or deciding where things should go.

Structure does not limit me. It helps me focus.

The same is true at work. When people know what is expected of them, what matters most, and how they can contribute, they have more energy for the work that actually matters. Good leaders do not create structure so they can control people. They create structure so people can succeed.

2. Time Has To Be Planned

I have learned that I have to value my time and script how I am going to spend it in advance or things will get off the rails quickly.

If I sit down and simply tell myself I am going to work on something, I can get distracted quickly. In high school, I could sit at my desk with every intention of studying and somehow end up cleaning or organizing my desk instead. The desk would look great, but I would have done little to no homework.

Today, I build my days with intention. I use routines, calendars, lists, and deadlines to keep myself on track. I even give myself fake deadlines because I know that is what helps me get things done. I tell people I am not smart enough to be disorganized, but honestly I should probably say, I am not disciplined enough to be disorganized.

Leaders can help people in the same way. Vague expectations create unnecessary stress. Clear priorities, deadlines, and a shared understanding of what success looks like help people focus on the right work.

3. Movement Helps You Think

I am grateful that I played sports growing up. Looking back, I think sports helped me regulate more than I realized at the time. Exercise is valuable physically, but for me, it has been even more valuable mentally. When I am active, I think more clearly. I have more energy. I can manage stress better. Sometimes I need movement before I can truly settle down and focus.

I didn’t know what stimming was until I was an adult but now can define the bursts of energy I will get. Research has shown that exercise can be more effective than medicine with people on the spectrum. Exercise’s impact on your brain is unbelievable and movement should be a priority. For more information on this subject I would strongly suggest reading the book, Spark.

That is something leaders and organizations should understand. Not everyone does their best thinking sitting still at a desk all day. A walk, a workout, time outside, or even a few minutes away from a screen can help people return more focused and more productive.

4. Focus Does Not Always Look The Same

I struggled to focus in some areas, but I have also learned that I can hyperfocus in others.

I can sit and paint for hours. I can get into a state of flow where I lose track of time and the outside world. That same ability to become deeply focused can be a strength when it is directed toward the right work. While sitting and painting for some people would be pure torture I am completely locked in.

The challenge is not assuming that everyone focuses in the same way. Some people need quiet. Some need movement. Some need collaboration and others need seclusion. Some need short bursts of concentrated effort. Some need to understand why a task matters before they can fully engage in it.

As leaders, when we get to know our people well enough to understand what helps them do their best work. Do not expect every person to work the same way we do.

5. Systems Help People See Their Potential

When I got to college, I struggled because I did not know how to study. I had good intentions but still wasn’t finding success. Eventually, I learned to study in short bursts and in ways that helped me retain information. I learned to sit in the front of the class. I learned to take detailed notes. I learned how to create the right conditions for myself to stay focused.

Once I built systems that worked for me, I realized I was not dumb. In fact, with better systems I began to find success. That lesson has stayed with me. Sometimes people do not need to be pushed harder. Sometimes they need a better system, clearer expectations, or a different way to approach the work.

As leaders, parents, coaches, teachers, and coworkers, we should be careful about judging someone’s potential based on how they perform in a system that may not be designed for them. The goal is not to make everyone work the same way. The goal is to help people find the way they can work best. There is a saying that if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its life believing it is stupid.

I do not have all the answers about neurodiversity, ADHD, autism, or how anyone else experiences the world. I can only share what I have learned about myself. What once felt like a weakness has become something I understand better. With the right structure, routines, movement, and systems, I am grateful for my wiring and it has become one of my greatest strengths.

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